October 20, 2011
My Obason!!
October 5, 2011 the world lost a wonderful woman. October 5, 2011 two sons lost their mother. October 5, 2011 I lost my grandmother. I've had a few people over the years pass away, but nothing has hit me as hard as this. Up until the last 6 months, I never even thought of my grandma as old. She was always smiling, vibrant, and ready to take on the world. I can still hear her broken english, sweet little japanese voice in my mind. A sound I will never forget and hold close in my heart. This last week and a half has been a crazy rollercoaster of emotions. The night she passed away, I cried until my body wouldnt cry anymore. I felt the tears literally dry out. There was nothing left, I was almost too tired to cry. I woke up the next morning and almost...just almost...forgot what happened. It only took a couple minutes of laying there in bed to remember. The swollen eyes and pounding headache brought everything back rather quickly. I actually tried to go to work the next day, that didnt work out well. Sometime the day after she passed I decided that to contribute to her memorial service I wanted to put together a picture board to display. I also knew I needed to get out as soon as possible and see my dad. I felt like he needed me and for first time in my life I really needed him. I think the most complicated part was trying to explain everything to my two year old as simply and honestly as I could. I still dont think she grasped it but I did the best I could to tell her Grandma Nori went to be with Jesus and is living in heaven now and we wont be seeing her here anymore. The time we spent out there with my dad was great. Going through all the pictures was bittersweet. Joy and sorrow all at the same time, it felt great to do that for my Obason.
One thing I hold dear is that my little girl got to spend some time with her great-grandmother. Julia loved her Grandma Nori and was always happy to go spend time at her house.....maybe because Grandma Nori always had a little something for her when we got there;) It really wasnt until I had Julia that I was really excited and interested in knowing the Japanese part of my background. Maybe because I wanted to be able to share it with Julia and show her how proud she should be to be part Japanese. My Grandma was absolutely ecstatic to share everything with me and take me to these amazing Japanese stores that she loved to go too. Over the last few years she had bought Julia some pretty awesome Japanese dolls and a bunch of paper to teach me and her how to do the Origami, I still have the paper and am thinking I want to continue that for her and learn how to do it so that I can teach Julia:)
The service was absolutely beautiful. My grandma was a devoted buddhist and even though we didnt share the same religious views, it was amazing to see all the people she touched over the years. They have a tradition to honor a deceased where they burn incense and recite a prayer. I was absolutely blown away at the amount of people that went up and did this for my Obason, it was actually really beautiful. I've been to a few funerals over the years and this was first time I was part of the family sitting upfront. That was a really strange and surreal feeling. Standing upfront afterwards shaking hands and hugging people I may have never met but that knew who I was. People that shared with me what an amazing woman my obason was. People that told me how proud my obason was of me and how much she adored my little girl. It felt great but also left a hole in my heart because I knew at that moment I would never be able to hug her and tell her thank you for those kind words. All those wonderful things she showed me about the Japanese culture, she would no longer be able to show me more. But I know now that its up to me to continue it on my own. Its up to me now to make sure my daughter knows the beautiful culture she is a part of. I love you Obason and your memory is forever etched in my my heart!!!
One thing I hold dear is that my little girl got to spend some time with her great-grandmother. Julia loved her Grandma Nori and was always happy to go spend time at her house.....maybe because Grandma Nori always had a little something for her when we got there;) It really wasnt until I had Julia that I was really excited and interested in knowing the Japanese part of my background. Maybe because I wanted to be able to share it with Julia and show her how proud she should be to be part Japanese. My Grandma was absolutely ecstatic to share everything with me and take me to these amazing Japanese stores that she loved to go too. Over the last few years she had bought Julia some pretty awesome Japanese dolls and a bunch of paper to teach me and her how to do the Origami, I still have the paper and am thinking I want to continue that for her and learn how to do it so that I can teach Julia:)
The service was absolutely beautiful. My grandma was a devoted buddhist and even though we didnt share the same religious views, it was amazing to see all the people she touched over the years. They have a tradition to honor a deceased where they burn incense and recite a prayer. I was absolutely blown away at the amount of people that went up and did this for my Obason, it was actually really beautiful. I've been to a few funerals over the years and this was first time I was part of the family sitting upfront. That was a really strange and surreal feeling. Standing upfront afterwards shaking hands and hugging people I may have never met but that knew who I was. People that shared with me what an amazing woman my obason was. People that told me how proud my obason was of me and how much she adored my little girl. It felt great but also left a hole in my heart because I knew at that moment I would never be able to hug her and tell her thank you for those kind words. All those wonderful things she showed me about the Japanese culture, she would no longer be able to show me more. But I know now that its up to me to continue it on my own. Its up to me now to make sure my daughter knows the beautiful culture she is a part of. I love you Obason and your memory is forever etched in my my heart!!!
June 28, 2011
Precious Times!
I cant even begin to express how precious this evening was with my little miss! She had a pretty rough day today, just sensitive and wanting her mama. From the minute we got home she was stuck to me like glue, I missed her so much and was so sad hearing what an emotional day she was having that I was absolutely ok with her being my little shadow. She asked if she could help me with dinner and I said definitely. Dinner was an easy one and I knew she would have fun helping. Grilled ham and cheese sandwhiches(@ Papa's request). She pulled up her little chair to stand on and her apron and was a big helper. I put seperated the cheese and ham slices and let her hand them to me after I was done buttering the bread:) I realized a few times that I was short some cheese onlt to look up and see her happily chewing away at my pre-placed slices...lol...this girl loves cheese! We had a eat as you go style dinner. She ate at up at the counter with me, happily dipping her sandwhich in ketchup, just like mommy:) My folks got home and while they had dinner and chatted about their days Julia and I headed to the couch for some chatting of our own, which ended in tickling and lots of giggles....my fav!
After dinner was cleaned up my mom and I decided to take her for a wagon ride around the neighborhood. She loves to be outside enjoying the fresh air, especially because shes been couped up in the house sick the last week. When we got back it was bathtime, lots of splashing and rubber duckie play:) Once we had our jammies on and our teethbrushed, this mama really took a walk on the wildside and shared a regular(by that i mean, not sugar-free) bowl of strawberry ice cream with my little princess. Then it was off to bed. Prayers, kisses, and bedtime stories. The night always seems to go faster then id like.
A few times during our night I thought to grab my camera and snap a few shots, like i normally do, but i honestly felt like it was so special I didnt want to interrupt it with, "say cheese, Julia" or "hold that up so mommy can see" lol just didnt feel right;) Nighty Night folks!!
After dinner was cleaned up my mom and I decided to take her for a wagon ride around the neighborhood. She loves to be outside enjoying the fresh air, especially because shes been couped up in the house sick the last week. When we got back it was bathtime, lots of splashing and rubber duckie play:) Once we had our jammies on and our teethbrushed, this mama really took a walk on the wildside and shared a regular(by that i mean, not sugar-free) bowl of strawberry ice cream with my little princess. Then it was off to bed. Prayers, kisses, and bedtime stories. The night always seems to go faster then id like.
A few times during our night I thought to grab my camera and snap a few shots, like i normally do, but i honestly felt like it was so special I didnt want to interrupt it with, "say cheese, Julia" or "hold that up so mommy can see" lol just didnt feel right;) Nighty Night folks!!
June 22, 2011
June 14, 2011
Little Gardener!
So last night Julia and I planted her first little set of flowers. She got some flower seeds in her Easter basket from my parents and my mom had gotten some really cute animal pots that we could use. This girl had a blast helping me put the soil in the pots and pouring her little seeds in and helping me decide wear to put them. She got nice and dirty with the soil but, it was a really fun experience. I only got a couple of pics, as I was trying to help her not make too much of a mess;) She was so cute and so proud of the work she did. Now its going to be a learning experience for her to remember to water them everyday, actually i will be learning right along with her. Ive never kept a plant alive for that very reason:)
June 13, 2011
summers coming!
So I cant believe this year is already about halfway over and my little Noelle is just a few days away from being 2 1/2 years old! Time with her seems to be just flying by and I am enjoying every minute....even the not so pleasant ones we seem to be having lately...haha!
I am stoked that summer is almost here, we have so much fun stuff planned! Dodger games, Sea World, Catalina Island, BBQ's, movies in the park, beach trips, and much more:)) I am also so excited host my first playdate at my house next month with some precious friends and family! I love every chance I get to get my little girl around her little friends and cousins, she definitely needs to the kid interaction. She is around adults all the time! In fact, come September she will be starting preschool part-time at our church. I am so excited for her to go there and not only improve her educational and social skills but for her to be taught the bible and about loving God, I could always use the additional help in that area:) I dont think I would send her any other way! I am going through different ways to get her ready for school. She has her alphabet down and is starting to learn how to write her letters. So I am on the hunt for some good tracing activities to help her with that. Same with her numbers. My goal right now is for her to be writing her letters by September:) I am so happy right now she has such a desire for learning and reading, I am hoping it continues as she gets older:)
I am so stinkin excited for this upcoming weekend! My big brother is coming into town on Friday and will be here till sometime Sunday! My little girl loves her Uncle Mike and is always happy to see him and play with him:) Saturday we are going to a dodger game with about 20 of our family members. All you can eat tickets...woot woot!! Its out in the pavillion, so not the best view, but the point was to buy out a couple rows filled with family to have a good time and stuff our faces with.....mission accomplished! Sunday we are going to try and go out to the Harbor House in Dana Point for a yummy Fathers Day breakfast, celebrating the best Papa we know:) Cant wait, its only Monday and I am already longing for Friday!!
I am stoked that summer is almost here, we have so much fun stuff planned! Dodger games, Sea World, Catalina Island, BBQ's, movies in the park, beach trips, and much more:)) I am also so excited host my first playdate at my house next month with some precious friends and family! I love every chance I get to get my little girl around her little friends and cousins, she definitely needs to the kid interaction. She is around adults all the time! In fact, come September she will be starting preschool part-time at our church. I am so excited for her to go there and not only improve her educational and social skills but for her to be taught the bible and about loving God, I could always use the additional help in that area:) I dont think I would send her any other way! I am going through different ways to get her ready for school. She has her alphabet down and is starting to learn how to write her letters. So I am on the hunt for some good tracing activities to help her with that. Same with her numbers. My goal right now is for her to be writing her letters by September:) I am so happy right now she has such a desire for learning and reading, I am hoping it continues as she gets older:)
I am so stinkin excited for this upcoming weekend! My big brother is coming into town on Friday and will be here till sometime Sunday! My little girl loves her Uncle Mike and is always happy to see him and play with him:) Saturday we are going to a dodger game with about 20 of our family members. All you can eat tickets...woot woot!! Its out in the pavillion, so not the best view, but the point was to buy out a couple rows filled with family to have a good time and stuff our faces with.....mission accomplished! Sunday we are going to try and go out to the Harbor House in Dana Point for a yummy Fathers Day breakfast, celebrating the best Papa we know:) Cant wait, its only Monday and I am already longing for Friday!!
June 3, 2011
June 2, 2011
My brave girl and her terrified Mama!
I would have to say that last night has now become #1 on my list of scary mommy moments! I have never felt so much fear, panic, and stress probably safe to say in my life. So I decided last minute to take Julia to the park last night for a bit since we ran late and didnt make it to church. This park has a small playground for the little kids and a bigger one for the older kids. Of course my little girl is not satisfied just staying on the baby playground, where mommy would like her. She wants to play on the big slides. She started to go towards this climbing wall on the big playset and I told her, no Julia if you want to go on there you need to walk up the stairs please. And off she ran towards the stairs with me not far behind. She started up the stairs and must have misjudged the handrail and went headfirst in the space between the rail and the steps. She did this tuck and roll sort of flip and landed on the back of her neck/head with her body weight on top and flipped over onto her back. I could not believe what I had just seen. I went running and did almost this homerun slide under the stairs next to her. She laid there for about a minute screaming and then stood her way up and was really wabbly and dizzy with her steps, I picked her up and sat with her on the bench calming her down and pretty in shock myself trying to think of what to do next. What I did not realize because everything was happening so fast, is that there were a ton of people in that park and not one of them came up and asked me if she was ok or if i needed any help. Which absolutely breaks my heart that people's hearts have grown so cold and selfish! I called my folks and told them we were on the way home and I think we need to take Julia to get checked out. I laid her down on the couch and my mom looked her over a little and noticed that her pupils looke
d dilated and she seemed very disoriented and her eyes looked glossy. She was complaining about her neck hurting and crying this really hurt sad cry. So we decided to get going and take her in. I was very thankful that the minute I walked to the counter and told them what happened they took her in immediatly. They did a full physical exam on her body and had her walk up and down the hallway a few times. After all that the dr said she looks ok, just in a little shock(me too doc) and probably a sore neck from the fall. They gave me some home instructions and things to look for, vomiting, headache, over sleepiness. We got home about 9pm and I was absolutely terrified to put her to bed, i let her stay up till about 10pm while I got our breakfasts and lunches ready for today. She started out in my bed, I just felt better with her there with me, but she is just not used to sleeping anywhere but her own bed, so after a little while of cuddling and praying and talking she asked to go to her bed. I want to say I got up almost every hour and went in and checked on her, so needless to say I am exhausted today. She woke up this morning with a pretty sore neck and tired, but otherwise ok. I gave her some childrens ibuprofen and sent her on her way to her sitters house. It has taken all the strength in the world not to call every 10 minutes and check on her...haha! But I am just so blessed and thankful that God had His arms around my child and she is ok. Thank you all for your love and concern and prayers it has meant a lot to see how cared about my little girl really is:)
d dilated and she seemed very disoriented and her eyes looked glossy. She was complaining about her neck hurting and crying this really hurt sad cry. So we decided to get going and take her in. I was very thankful that the minute I walked to the counter and told them what happened they took her in immediatly. They did a full physical exam on her body and had her walk up and down the hallway a few times. After all that the dr said she looks ok, just in a little shock(me too doc) and probably a sore neck from the fall. They gave me some home instructions and things to look for, vomiting, headache, over sleepiness. We got home about 9pm and I was absolutely terrified to put her to bed, i let her stay up till about 10pm while I got our breakfasts and lunches ready for today. She started out in my bed, I just felt better with her there with me, but she is just not used to sleeping anywhere but her own bed, so after a little while of cuddling and praying and talking she asked to go to her bed. I want to say I got up almost every hour and went in and checked on her, so needless to say I am exhausted today. She woke up this morning with a pretty sore neck and tired, but otherwise ok. I gave her some childrens ibuprofen and sent her on her way to her sitters house. It has taken all the strength in the world not to call every 10 minutes and check on her...haha! But I am just so blessed and thankful that God had His arms around my child and she is ok. Thank you all for your love and concern and prayers it has meant a lot to see how cared about my little girl really is:)
May 30, 2011
Just thought I'd post a couple funny things Julia has started saying.
When she's about to tell me something important or tell me a story she says, "Ok, here's the deal!" Lol....it cracks me up, mostly because I know it comes from me!
She has also started saying, "go for it!" A lot lately too! Which is also all me!
When she's about to tell me something important or tell me a story she says, "Ok, here's the deal!" Lol....it cracks me up, mostly because I know it comes from me!
She has also started saying, "go for it!" A lot lately too! Which is also all me!
May 26, 2011
All about JuNo:)
So I keep a pretty good journal on all the things Julia is learning and what her favorite activities are at certain stages. Its actually pretty awesome to see the improvement in such short time frames. Working with her every night and showing her little educational videos instead of letting her watch just random TV has definitely paid off in her learning progression. After she turned two I started letting her venture out and watch some of the little disney or nick jr shows and even with that I am pretty cautious to how much and what she's watching. Its funny, where other kids we know were throwing Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or Dora parties at One Year or Two Years, she is just now starting to like and watch those shows. Not too say that anything is wrong with those shows, as I am finding they can definitely be helpful in her learning as well. She just never really watched them until now. Her favorite show for awhile now has been Yo Gabba Gabba, which at first I was not too excited about, the characters are a little strange but I am getting used to it and am discovering that the reason she likes this particular show so much is because it is jam-packed with music, dancing and singing and even at this young age she is showing such a passion for those things. She like to make her daily activities in to a little song. Anything from what she did at her babysitters house to the process of how she washes her hands...lol! She loves to dance and pretend she's doing "ballet" and "gymnastics", I am excited to start her in a little tumbling class when she turns 3:) Her papa just bought her her first little girls keyboard and she is in heaven trying to play it and she loves to strum papa's guitar when he's playing!
I am absolutely impressed by her ability to catch onto things so quickly. She has known her ABC's for awhile now and recognizes all the letters in and out of order. She recognizes her name when I write it without me saying anything. She is actually attempting to write her letters now, she can do a v and an i so far. She remembers which objects start with what letters like, A is for Apple, E is for Elephant, etc. She has got her colors down. Her favorites seem to be pink and green. She can recite 1-12 and recognizes 1-10 when its shown to her. She knows a few of her shapes now; square, circle, triangle and star. I could go on and on with all the things she's learning, its nuts!
Raising Julia as a single parent has definitely not been easy but I honestly feel like its given me more of a drive to make sure Julia never feels as though she's missed out on anything and that educationally she is on track and given that quality time every toddler needs to feel loved, secure, and cared for. I feel as though I am stretched so thin at times, but God continues to give me that strength and patience I need to provide for Julia in all areas of her life. Thank you Jesus for your grace and mercy on us!!
I am absolutely impressed by her ability to catch onto things so quickly. She has known her ABC's for awhile now and recognizes all the letters in and out of order. She recognizes her name when I write it without me saying anything. She is actually attempting to write her letters now, she can do a v and an i so far. She remembers which objects start with what letters like, A is for Apple, E is for Elephant, etc. She has got her colors down. Her favorites seem to be pink and green. She can recite 1-12 and recognizes 1-10 when its shown to her. She knows a few of her shapes now; square, circle, triangle and star. I could go on and on with all the things she's learning, its nuts!
Raising Julia as a single parent has definitely not been easy but I honestly feel like its given me more of a drive to make sure Julia never feels as though she's missed out on anything and that educationally she is on track and given that quality time every toddler needs to feel loved, secure, and cared for. I feel as though I am stretched so thin at times, but God continues to give me that strength and patience I need to provide for Julia in all areas of her life. Thank you Jesus for your grace and mercy on us!!
May 17, 2011
May 9, 2011
Busy Bee's
So we have been busy little bee's since Easter. To recap, we had a wonderful Easter at my aunts house. We colored and decorated eggs, did a mini egg hunt in my aunts backyard and had some awesome food and fellowship with our family. I absolutely love when my little girl gets to play with her cousins and family:) The day after Easter I got some not so wonderful news from my ex-husband and have been totally just giving it to the Lord and trying to be postive. Its been an emotional time for me and I am just so blessed by all the love and encouragement we have received from our close family and friends. Robert has decided to move out of the state and did so in a totally irresponsible and inconsiderate manner. The very small glimmer of bonding that I had started to see between them will now for sure diminish. In the end I have come to realize that it might be better for both Julia and I this way. As much as my desire was for Robert to at least build a healthy relationship with Julia, that has not happened up to this point and I cant help but get upset and stressed out everytime I notice Julia's confusion on who Robert is and what exactly his role is in her life. Right now I just pray for the discernment and wisdom to address any questions Julia might have about him in the future. Besides dealing with that news we have had a great couple of weeks. BBQ's with friends, the weather has been great so we've had a lot of park trips and kite flying. Yesterday was Mothers Day and it was great to just relax and pretty much do nothing but spend some quiet time with my little girlie:) We went to church and heard a wonderful mothers day message and then went and had a yummy breakfast with my parents and then just lounged around the house the rest of the day, besides an exciting trip to Sams Club where we bought Julia's 1st Trampoline, this girl loves to jump! I know its a ways off, but I have actually started to put together ideas for Julia's 3rd Birthday party. We are planning on doing it in November this year, as the weather in December is just way too unperdictable and I am shooting to have it a local park. So if everything falls into place it will be November 12th, so we are roughly six months away, which in my organized mind isnt that far off...lol! I want to do a pretty good sized party this year since she is getting a little older. For her first birthday it was a small and intimate party at my house and for her second birthday I took her to Disneyland and we just did a small cake at home with my family. I think its time to do something exciting for her:) Stay tuned for more details on "Julia's Dancey Dance Party!" (Lets see if any of you parents know where that's from)
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