Distractions......

So, with everything going on in my life right now, I have really felt God tell me that I need to focus on Him and the things He is doing in my life. I have been praying that God would show me the areas that I am being distracted in, and that God would reveal those things that I am putting above Him. One thing that I feel I have been pretty distracted with is Facebook. Dont get me wrong I love being able to keep in contact with friends and family and I dont think there is anything wrong with it, but I myself have allowed it to become a distraction in my life. Its on my computer and its on my phone, everywhere i go, i can be on facebook posting and cking out stuff and by golly I am!



So.....after much prayer and advice and conversation with some friends, I have decided that it needs to go. Im not sure if it will be a permanent change, God hasnt really made that clear to me yet, but I do know it needs to go for at least a month or more. I know it will be hard because I cant help but show off my little girl and all the things she is into but I know that it will bring such a feeling of freedom once its been done. I will still keep this blog up so that i can on occasion share recent pictures and events that Julia and I have going on. But most of all to share what God is doing in this process of stripping going on in my life. I also have a personal email feel free to contact me that way if you want.

lesliecbanks06@yahoo.com




Please pray that I would rely on God for strength and that I would fight the temptations to cave in on this decision.

We love Summer

Summer has been a busy time for us......
Beach trips
Zoo trips
Family events

It is fun to be busy but I feel like I am at a time in my life now, especially with Julia that I like to make sure we have at least one day to relax and spend quality time together at home. Because I work during the week, Sunday is usually that day for us. We have church in the morning and then we usually just chill the rest of the day, which is nice for me because its a day of rest before i go back to work the next day and its when i can honestly say Julia and I have the most precious and fun times:)
This coming month seems pretty packed so forgive me if i dont blog much after this for awhile. It seems that every weekend is booked through August and I get a little stressed thinking about it but I just need to take it one day at a time. We've had a lot of fun this summer so far and have much more planned, I love the warm weather and being to go outside with Julia to the pool, or beach or just around the neighborhood exploring:) Enjoy the pics so far form this summer.....more to come....

Its a crazy life, but its mine!

So life these days for my little girl and I has been really good. We have had our difficult moments with everything going on, but God has truly blessed us and shown His provisions over us again and again. There are times when I feel so alone, but in those times I seek God and He shows me that I am not alone. He is with me and He has given me family and friends that I know are there for me and continue to support me and my daughter through this trial.

Ok so enough about that yucky stuff......

My little Noelle is now 19 months old and growing bigger and smarter everyday. I cant believe how smart she is sometimes. I took her to get some pictures done for when she turned 18 months and also because it was right before 4th of July we did a patriotic theme. I posted a few of those below:)


I am so thankful to God for blessing me with a healthy and happy daughter, she continues to amaze me more and more everyday and there are times I wonder what I did to deserve this little girl and for God to trust me to take care of her and raise her. Julia loves to pray for just about everything....dinner, randomly throughout dinner, bedtime, when she wakes up, and in the car:) So far all we get is some mumbles and a "Thank You Jee-Us, Amen. Which is fine with me, i love to hear and can only imagine the joy God has hearing his precious little creation Thank Him. Her vocabulary is off the chart, her pediatrician is amazed at how much she talks and how clear she is. She is a constant chatterbox and is determined to be involved in every conversation going on..lol.

Some things I love.....

I love our little routines....
I love singing in the car....
I love to hear her call me "mommy"...
I love when she tries to read her books...
I love to read her bible with her...
I love dancing around the living room...
I love quiet days at home...
I love park days...
I love to watch her play in the pool...
I love to watch her walk around in my heels...
I love when she says "cancakes?"
I love when she calls for her Papa and Grandma...
I love our trips to Target...
I love to see her make friends...
I love to watch her learn new things...
I love when I am the only one who can soothe her...
I LOVE BEING JULIA'S MOMMY.....

Late Nite Thoughts

I wrote this last night while laying in bed praying and thinking and feeling God tell me something specific about raising my little girl. Thought i'd share:)


So i do this thing at night before i go to sleep, where i pray for my little girl. Honestly, it wasnt something i planned or came up with. Just kind of fell into a little habit and i thank God it did. I pray for her future, her health, and all the hopes and dreams i have for her. I pray for myself, that as i raise her alone for now that God would come alongside me and be me guide through this journey. I pray He would show me those areas in Julia that need to be corrected and disciplined, that He would help me to do those things in love and in a way that she would understand.

Lately i have been hearing a phrase used for little girls by friends, family and media that at first i giggled about and thought, yea Julia can be that at times too. Its the word ''diva''. In my prayer time tonight, God totally convicted me about that. Diva, is the absolute LAST thing i want my daughter to be. I want my daughter to be meek and humble. I want people to look and see Jesus there. This world is full of divas and little divas to be. Why would i aspire or laugh at or encourage my little girl to be that way. Of course, i love that she tries on my heels and walks around the house with them, i love that she points to her clothes and mine and says ''oooo pretty''....and i love that she has a mind of her own sometimes, but i pray God would help me know where to draw that line. Where and when to show her to submit and be that meek and mild little woman of Jesus! I pray he would continue to remind me to pray for my child, to lift up every little request on my heart about her:) Thank you Lord for entrusting this precious child to me!

Trusting God....with a side of paranoia!

So I am sure you are wondering, what is that title all about? And I dont like to sound drama, but that is exactly how I am feeling right now! I havent really shared this with many people, because at first thinking about it and talking about it brought tears to my eyes and I just didnt want to go there! But now that I have really prayed about it and am taking those necessary steps to trust God and know that He is in control, i am much more at peace, but still a little scared in the back of mind...hence...Trusting God....with a side of paranoia!!



Last month at Julia's check up, the Dr was listening to her heart and heard what might be a heart murmur. She said it may be nothing but I dont want to take that chance, better to be safe than sorry. She said its nothing to get panicked about, that people live with heart murmurs there whole lives and are absolutely healthy and fine. But there are cases where it is a serious problem that needs to be fixed. Naturally, i was absolutely terrified and balling like a baby! She said that she would put in the refferal to send Julia to see a pediatric cardiologist and i would get the approval in the mail telling me who to call for the appt. I then made a huge mistake and went and looked up online heart murmurs and discovered all the horrible things it could mean(of course ignoring the small sections saying it could mean absolutely nothing). Well over the last few weeks I just kind of kept it to myself and my parents and just tried to take it before the Lord and seek Him and trust Him. As my heart started to calm down, the approval came in the mail and all that fear and worry came rushing back to me! This time instead of freaking out and denying it, I did what I should have done in the first place. I reached out to a few of my close friends, one of whom has a daughter who had to have heart surgery before she turned a year because of a hole in her heart. She was the perfect person to talk with me and reassure me, thanks Tanya:) The other of whom is always there for me when i need prayer, even if its through an email, thanks Sara!


I called to make the appt a couple days ago and their next available was October 12th!! I was like WHAT!?!?! Can she wait that long? What if something is really wrong? FEAR..PANIC...ok, calm down and take a deep breath! The nurse on the other line was so non-chalant about it, saying it was considered a routine exam and that if i wanted too, i could call Julia's Dr and make sure that that was ok or she could call and make it a priority and Julia should be seen sooner than that. I called and spoke with the refferal nurse and she said she would call the cardioligist office and see if she could get Julia seen earlier, if anything to subside my concern and worry! I think she could hear the panic in my voice....lol! So I am supposed to hear back from her in the next few days!





So as I wait for her appt to come around I am in constant prayer that God would keep my heart calm and trust Him knowing that he created her little body and is in total control. It of course being the sap that i am has made me think about how much Julia has grown over the last year and a half and what she truly means to me and how much I absolutely am in love with her! So please continue to pray for me and my precious little girl:) I posted a couple recent pics of my little hammy girl, enjoy:) She loves to make mama laugh!!

No Way!

So my little "angel" has a new favorite phrase. Im not quite sure where she learned it but i know it was not from me;)Lol.... As of yesterday her favorite thing to say is "No Way" to just about anything. It started out quite funny, but it soon turned into a defiant little comment. I would ask her to do something and her response was "no way", i had to spank her yesterday and she was crying or should i say screaming...No Way!! Oh my goodness, I guess mommy has a new habit to break! Because as cute as it may sound sometimes, I definitely dont want her telling people, No Way!!

What is motherhood to me?


There isn’t a simple answer.


Motherhood is tiny fingers holding your thumbs, The many mommy badges on your favorite clothes or camera in my case. The selflessness and innocence, the learning and teaching, the belonging or maybe those beautiful eyes that look up at me. From the moment I found out I was pregnant I knew there was someone other then me, someone more important then I am. For the most part the pregnancy was enjoyable. The delivery not so much but the second she started moving in my belly -- I loved her. My heart has never beat the same. The way I think, things I do, everything is for her. As it should be. I have grown just as much as she has in the last seventeen months. I’m not going to say motherhood is easy -- it isn’t. There are ins and outs just like anything else. She cries, wines and throws temper tantrums -- I think it’s cute but lets face it, it can get a little nerve wrecking after a while. Especially when I have a headache or am tired from a busy day at work. Julia is no longer a baby, I can’t get over how fast she has grown up. I remember the day she was born like it was just yesterday. Now she has a little personality and the faces to go with it. She’s talking and pretty much understands everything you say to her, It’s whether she wants to listen or not that you have to worry about. She is the light in my life. She just turned 17 months a last week! I look at her baby clothes from when she was a newborn, sometimes, she was so tiny! I can’t believe she fit them. I can’t believe my baby was that small. I remember the first time I held her, I was so nervous, scared to hurt her or do something wrong. She would cry and all I wanted to do was pick her up regardless of her really needing something or not. She has always been a Mommy’s girl. Motherhood is walking out of the grocery store leaving a cart full of groceries behind. Repetitive teaching. You don’t want to say ‘No’ but what else can you say? Most of the time you’re saying no with a smile on your face because she’s just too darn cute when she does something wrong and knows it. Motherhood is......Whatever makes them smile you will find yourself doing. Itsy Bitsy Spider for the 18th time, her favorite book, (Im Glad Im Your Mother) one more time. Spending your money on her and not yourself -- and enjoying doing it, too. Toys covering the floor but you don’t care because if you did you‘d pick them up 10x a day....lol. Self sacrifice is the biggest of all the learning curves I have gone through with my daughter. My heart grows a little more every time I see her face smiling, smirking. I wouldn’t change this for the world.