I feel that this blog has two purposes now. Number one, to share my experiences and wonderful moments being Julia's mommy! This little girl has changed my life for the better. I never imagined I could love someone SO much. She is in my every thought and decision and my goal for her is for her to know and love Jesus. I dont care if she has a college degree, lots of money or every success in the world. As long as my little girl desires to love and serve Jesus, I have done the job God called me to do in her. Of course i want her to know that education is important and i want her to strive to be her very best in everything she does, but I also know that I will stand before God and answer for the things I taught her of Him and at the end of this journey, my only desire is to hear my God say to me "Well done, my good and faithful servant". Number two, this blog is to share what God is showing me through this journey called life. My life has taken some crazy twists and turns, but God has been my constant and my focus. I know that as long as i keep my eyes on Him and what He has promised me, then I will overcome any circumstance that comes my way. Lately I really feel Him shaping and molding me. I feel Him stripping things that I need to let go of. Hurt and bitter feelings, family drama, and things that have been taking my focus away from Him. He has been showing me more and more that I am not of this world, that I am to be different and to not be suprised if people i thought were my friends or my family start to reject or push away from me. There are a lot verses that talk about this, but a few that stick out to me most right now is John 15:19 "If you were of this world, the world would love its own, yet because you are not of this world, but I chose you out of this world, therefore the world hates you". Luke 21:16-17 "You will be betrayed even by parents and brothers, relatives and friends. You will be hated for My name's sake". And 1 Corinthians 6:14 "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers, for what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" So i guess for me to feel this way from some people I should be rejoicing because it means I am doing something right! As difficult as it can be I know that God has a specific calling on my life and that to me is so much more important than fitting in and being accepted by others, because in the end I know that it will only matter what God says of me. Even through this hard process, I have made some wonderful friends that have the same goal and mindset that I do and it has been so awesome to share and encourage each other. There have been times of laugher, tears and convictions, but i have come to learn that the true Christian life is going to involve conviction and correction and the way to determine a true Christian is how they respond to that conviction from others. There have been times that I feel convicted and my first reaction is to be offended or to justify myself, but then i realize, maybe this is an area I need to change in, an area that God is using someone else to bring conviction to my heart and say I want to work on this with you. Once i realize it, I feel such a sense of love and care from God. That He loves me so much that He would take the time for me, to teach me and grow me in area that needs to change.
Sorry this post was so long.....in the few short days that I have been less distracted, He has already shown me SO much and I am so looking forward to what else He has for me!!