August 10, 2010

Year 26 begins.....

As I sit here and just ponder this last year, I think...Wow, I have been through a lot! I have seen a lot, experienced a lot and just been through a lot of life. God has allowed me too experience quite a bit of pain and disappointment, but more than that He has allowed me to experience a ton of good and I have grown so much from everything. I never thought that I would be in the situation I find myself in today but it definitely has allowed me to really know and experience the love of God. That although people around me may disappoint me and let me down, He will never leave or forsake me. The biggest thing in my life that has brought me so much joy and life is for sure Julia(big surprise). Seeing her little face reminds me everyday how much God has blessed me and that the good in my life definitely outweighs the bad. Everyday is a new adventure with her and she has taught me to really soak up and appreciate the little things in life. Being this little girls mommy has instantly changed my life and my outlook on everything. Every decision I make with her in mind and I pray God continues to give me wisdom in raising her.

Year 25 started out pretty rough, with Robert and I being pretty newly seperated and me starting the journey of single parenthood. Luckily, my parents have been such a huge help and support to me. I dont know where I would be without them. As much as I try not to rely on them to help me care for Julia, they are always there for me when I need a break and Lord knows we ALL need a break sometimes:)

In the last year I have experienced a deserting spouse, a loss of jobs, Julia entering toddlerhood, the discovery of a heart murmur, my aunts breast cancer which grew into amazing family unity, my stepdad being diagnosed with congestive heart failure, some family division, letting go of old friends and embracing new ones. Now as I begin year 26, I know the struggles are not over but that some of those year 25 difficulites have produced great love and strength....I begin this year with sadly, the beginning of a divorce, entering terrible two's, a cancer free auntie, a wonderful job and a group of cousins on my mommys side that have become closer than ever before. I am so grateful for the things God is teaching me about family, friends, and just life in general. Finding people that can encourage, love, and even convict you is so important. Whether blood relatives or new found friends and everyone in between these people in my life have made such a difference at my outlook on things. Most importantly is my focus to please and obey God. In everything I do, I desire to please God. As hard as it has been sometimes to not just give up and do things my way, perservering and doing things God's way has such a greater reward and I have so much more peace in my heart for the decisions I have made. I look forward to what God has in store for year 26 and know that as long as I am truly following Him, whatever fires lie ahead I will emerge "pure as gold".

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